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Marriage is Gross

Marriage is gross. There, I said it.

Years ago I didn’t sleep with a night guard. Now, due to the unforeseen circumstances of me chewing an imaginary steak all night long every single evening, I wear one. Some times Justin will talk to me about what the next day entails and I respond with retainer mouthspeak and he laughs and I’m embarrassed and yeah that’s marriage and no, its not sexy.

In our old apartment we kept the litter box for the cats in the bathroom, and therefore almost never shut the bathroom door when either of us was…..you can finish that thought. NOT SEXY!

And to think a few years ago it was all dates and staying out late and Netflix and chill and God forbid this man see me with a stomach flu, shit flying out of me and tears streaming down my face, like last December when I was sooooooooo sick from a holiday work dinner that I couldn’t even move the next day except to watch a movie on the couch and remind my husband that if I died, he could NOT give up the animals for adoption. They’d be left for him in my will. He told me to shut up and lay down.

I wear these ugly Pebble Flintstone hair do’s when I’m at home and got no where to be. Justin doesn’t wash his hair every day. When he works over night and gets in bed late the next morning, he smells like work.

WE’RE GROSS.

………..We came home tonight from work each respectively worn out and kind of anticipating and sort of dreading decorating the Christmas tree. Long story short? The tree didn’t get decorated. We were too annoyed at each other and the length of the day to even bother. And, we agreed, we should decorate our tree when were in the mood to do so. It’s always better that way.

And even gross, were better together.

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