Medusa with a Heart

Over the summer I lost my job. I was “let go” if we’re being politically correct. To say I never thought this would happen to me is a complete understatement. But, I never thought this would happen to me! I’ve gone back and forth with it a million times in my mind, argued with myself over it, dreamed it every night. I dream all the time of my old boss and re-watch myself go through my last day, again, and again, and again.

It wasn’t until the other morning as I was walking out to my car to go to my new job that it occurred to me, a revelation from God I believe, that losing my job was God’s will. Maybe that sounds crazy, or like I don’t believe God is good, or wants my success. But that’s not what I mean at all.

It occurred to me this one simple fact: that regardless of if I deserved  to be canned or not, I was meant to leave that job. Furthermore, even if I was absolutely wonderful as an employee and crossed all my t’s and dotted all my i’s and shit rainbows, I was meant to lose that job. Even if I was a terrible employee and like Medusa, no one could look at me lest they face my scorn and turn to stone, I was meant to lose that job.

If I’m being honest, now that I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, I probably was a little bit of a Medusa with a heart. Sure, I have regrets. But….

I was meant to lose that job. I know it with every fiber of my being. And, it sucks. I watched myself spiral into bitterness getting to that point. I watched myself blubber ugly tears in front of my boss both in and out of the dream world, and watched our boss/associate relationship come to utter ruin. That sucks.

But I’m not finished yet. Still, I rise. Still, I return to lead this new pack of wolves. Still, God will complete the good work he has started within me.

What about you?

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