Yea, Though I Walk

Through the valley of the shadow of death…..or the laundry room to empty the dryer, or the parking lot in a torrential downpour, or my California King bed (though you can’t really walk in that, right?)

you are with me.

I suppose this is a season of growth and contentment. Lately life seems to be situation after situation of God saying you know what opportunity to grow looks like? Well, in case you didn’t realize, its THIS right here.

To which I sarcastically say no, really?! And God responds with yeah, really. I feel like He’s a little sarcastic with me too, and that’s not a bad thing.

It’s hard to be the mature one when I want to throw up my hands and scream profanities.

Folsom is covered in rain and wetness. That’s our winter season, here. I’m in a personal winter season of my own too. I’ve realized that all the things I say I’ll do, I don’t do. I don’t join that gym or try that book club. I don’t try that Bible study or that writing class. Some nights my husband and I get home from work and we just stare at our phones. Meanwhile, it continues to rain outside.

Everyone is tired. The holidays are over and now here we are. What to talk about, what to do. Lots of moving chess pieces at work. I’m uncertain of where I’m going but I do know where I have been.

Maybe I don’t try the things I want to do because I don’t really want to do them. I don’t want to fit into the mold, I want to break free from the mold. I don’t want to have a child, I am a child. I’m not a wife–I am a confidant, and lover.

Yea, though I walk.

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