Laying in the heat of the darkness, all summer long. I think that’s how I’ll look back on this summer with Justin, our first summer in our own place. During the night it gets so dang hot. Of course we’re trying to pinch pennies as much as we can and one of the ways we do that is by not running the A/C at night. And so we lay beside each other, sweating. In the heat of the darkness, thinking.
A lot of “get real” moments have just been coming at me strong lately. I was up in Caples with my husband on Sunday for my birthday, texting my dad off and on when I got any semblance of a network connection. 8,ooo feet in elevation and almost no contact to the outside world. He told me his new wife’s sister has cancer, and literally all I could think was dammit, seriously?
Lo’, here is this woman I haven’t been very fond of because 1) she decided I could find out about her marriage to my father via social media and 2) proceeds to post new pictures of her daughter with my father every single fucking day on social media. Emphasis there on the…well, you can see it.
And now…..sister with cancer. Kind of disarms the beast doesn’t it?
Not that she is a beast. I don’t really think that. But I can tell you, as much as I don’t even like my own sister, and like her less and less, it would still kill me if she had cancer. I don’t think I would recover. How do you, from someone you love? Who’s heart beats in rhythm with yours? Flesh of my flesh, kin of my kin.
And so although this news does not change history, I still don’t wish it even for my father’s wife, AKA my new family member I have not met.
In other news, my husband is great. I came home last night and he had made coffee and started laundry. The dogs had had their dinner, the cats too. He left me the parking spot that we share, but he gives me most of the time. Today, I texted him a picture of a creepy crawlie above our door frame. He promised when he came home from work he’d look for it, high and low.
And he did. My man is a man of his word. Tonight, after dinner, my mother-in-law told me playfully, “Don’t you leave him now”.
A funny thing, to make a joke about. I wanted to tell her I don’t intend to.
I don’t intend to because I am, the luckiest girl.