Hot, Hot Heat

It’s one of those days. A no make-up, overalls kind of day. Justin is at his parents house doing his laundry there because he believes our washer and dryer are spawn of Satan. Fair enough. I’ve been doing laundry here, listening to Phantom of the Opera while I shower, and loving on my kitties. The kitchen is clean, or as clean as its gonna be anyway.  It’s almost time to cook dinner.

It’s hard to believe the year is half over now. On June 26th, I’ll officially have been a wife a year! Wow. I was visiting at my mom’s church last night just the two of us and I started thinking of all the years I’d gone to church with my mom, wondering if I’d ever meet a guy there, a man to marry. Not that that was the reason for my going to church, mind you, but of course the thought crossed my mind. What Christ-like man does God have for me? Does he walk among us? I think I had a lot of wandering thoughts as a teenager and as a young adult. Now I’m entering the later part of my 20’s and I’m starting to feel nostalgic for how I used to be. And for the record, I did NOT meet my Christ-like man at church. So in case anyone out there is wondering how that works, well, it means that life is ALSO outside that small building.

But going to church last night with my mom did make me miss it. I kind of think I’ve been missing out. Not on the events or the socialization. Justin and I have a home group we go to on a somewhat/sort of regular basis and I think we glean a lot from that. But I miss worship. I miss the encouragement. I also miss going with my mom. She’s the best. Sometimes I think we must look weird to the other people there, acting silly in God’s house. But I’m not sure that my Jesus would want us to act any differently.

Justin’s parents surprised us, yet again. They decided to treat us by paying for our cruise tickets for our anniversary. Talk about humbling! I’m always overwhelmed by their generosity. And yet, somehow I always let it pressure me, too. Justin went to his mom and dad’s today, as I said earlier, to do his laundry. I did not go with him. No, I stayed here. I worked out and listened to my music. I let my dogs outside in the hot, hot heat. Then they came in and I let them play with their squeaky hedgehog, Mr. Hog. I did not go and see my in-laws. The day after they gave us this gracious gift. I have yet to go and say thank you.

I think I spent a solid hour feeling guilty about this. But isn’t that like treating generosity like you owe it, somehow? I don’t think that God gives his children good gifts with the thought in His mind of, “Oh, they better come and spend time with me right away now or they’re ungrateful little shits”.

I mean, really? Is God like that? I don’t think so. And neither are my in-laws. But I have a tendency of putting a negative spin on things, and its something I do battle with on a daily basis.

But I am not the only one.


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