Coming Back Again

I think I’m a little jaded toward the expression “be intentional”.

Let me back pedal a little bit. I haven’t written much recently, due to my own lack of creativity and I suppose from the business of life. But not for lack of want of having stuff to say. Talking’s never been an issue for me.

Speaking of issues, back to being intentional. I’ve got beef with it. Maybe it’s my own distrust in people’s intentions with my heart or lack  thereof, but I do not like being told to be intentional.

What if? What if Justin took me to dinner? Let’s say he wants to enjoy my company in this scenario. He wants to feed me, relish me. Speak of his day and be heard, likewise hear about my day, and in this way we are making the best use of the time. Right?

But what if in my head it’s rather different. What if I’m being intentional because, I simply want to be fed, and that IS my intention? Beginning and end. I want to eat. Stuff my face.

So you see, being intentional means nothing. Or rather, it doesn’t matter if you are intentional with what you do and how you live, if your intentions are not right.

So how do I live intentionally then?  It all comes back. What does it come back to?

Love. And the Father.

My gift to you, and those around me, is being focused on an idea to the point I am a dog with a bone. This part of me was meant to be a gift, and it is, until it’s used for evil.

Like Justin tells me, let us make the best use of the time.


Things I Learned From My Boss

Life has been full of big, gooey, fat fistfuls of tears lately.

I say things I learned from my boss, even though to be truthful, I am still learning. Here they are.

1. It’s never the wrong time for an Icee.

2. Repairs can wait.

3. The deepest pain on this side of heaven, is the absence of another body.

4. The greatest gift you can give another person is your belief in them.

5.  Throw me to the wolves, but I will return. And when I do, I will lead the pack.

Do you know that not one sparrow falls without Him knowing? I take comfort in this now, even now. Not one. Not one. Repeat that to yourself, until you know it.

There is a time, I believe, in every woman’s life. A time where she realizes it is not about those who didn’t believe in her, but rather, those she never believed in.

Those opportunities, once they are gone, do not always come back. You reach a point where that hits you, whether you are  23 or 47 or 35.

I don’t believe in wishing. Wishes are for children. But just this once, I wish. You know how you can send someone to the store for icecream, and they bring it back like, ASAP because hello it’s icecream and you need that shit and two because it’s really a simple thing to just send someone to the store for you and owe them like, five bucks.

I wish we could do that with people.