I got ready for the day. And it happened.
My mom once told me this story that, once she was at a restaurant right? And when she got there she spilled her drink across the table, and onto everything. She didn’t make it into a big deal. She didn’t cry out in alarm. She simply cleaned up the mess. She said to me,
“If you don’t make it into a big deal, will anyone else? Will anyone even see what you did?”
I’ve been living my life like that ever since.
Do you understand?
I don’t want you to see the mess I make. The broken glass on the floor that will cut your toes if you don’t wear socks.
But I want you to love me, anyway.
Sometimes, and only sometimes, this life feels so mundane. Like I’m walking through a desert ghost town in the middle of the night, waiting for someone to turn their light on, come outside, and offer to walk with me. Not to anywhere specific. Such is the way of things. Where will we walk to? I don’t know, nor, do you.
We get ashamed and self-conscious of the mediocrity of our lives. Working, sleeping, twiddling our thumbs. Staying awake at night listening to the cats breathe and the fan run.
If you don’t make it into a big deal, will anyone else?