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Roots

And so, it happened. I became a California resident as of Friday, last week.
 
I’ve been waiting for it for awhile. The feeling of it, to really drive home, for me. That this is where I am and will be, for awhile. The feeling that some things are beginning to take root and I am home. For now.
 
So I’ve been dreaming of My So-Called Life lately. Yeah, the show from 1994. I wasn’t sure what my conscience or God was trying to tell me other than yes, Jared Leto is indeed quite a fine specimen of a man. I decided to start watching episodes of it on Hulu last Friday night and then, I found this clip below on Pinterest.
 

 
 
And oh how much this takes root as well. I was talking to my mom the other night, we’d had an emotional week together, even hundreds of miles apart from each other. Me and my sister have been fighting and one of our pets of 12+ years just passed away. Needless to say, last week was a week I cried a damn river and I found myself saying to my mom:
 
“Mom, I know no one (at this specific place) can hate me as much as they think they do..for no one can hate me as much as I hate myself.”
 
Dé jà moo right?
 
I just kinda think like, all of us are drowning in it. These ideas that we have of ourselves. And I don’t know if it’s really as bad as all that or not. 


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