It’s hard for me to fall asleep at night.
Maybe it’s nicotine and coffee and working, but I just lay in bed thinking. Chewing my cuticles into oblivion. I’m just not ready to give up, and that’s the problem.
I’m not ready to give up on the day.
Why? What would I do differently?
It’s too easy to get lost in the monotony of this life. Going to work. Coming home. Chores, and family. Dinner with friends. Starting a new book. Then another new book, and then another.
In the movie It’s a Wonderful Life Jimmy Stewart’s character talks about in the middle of the night he wants to run through a field in his bare feet and look out at the stars and climb the nearest hill and well, live.
I want to do that too but I don’t know how. Sure, I’ve prayed and asked God. I’ve knocked on the Doors of Purpose. I’ve lived the wrong way too, and once you’ve done that, it’s a constant temptation not to live that way any more. Why?
Because each time it gets harder and harder to get to that place. Maybe just a little harder each time, but all those ‘little’s add up right?
That place. What is it?
If you’ve been there, you know.