My Grandpa texted me the other day (yes, he is that hip) to let me know he’d bought me light bulbs while he was out. I’ve had a lamp in my car over 8 months now that I’m finally getting around to using. Why did it take me so long to unload it?
I think subconsciously when I moved here I thought I was on vacation. I mean, I knew my parents weren’t together any more and that I’d be living here at my aunt’s. I knew I’d have a roof over my head, food to eat, family surrounding me. But living and settling are two different ideas.
To live somewhere is to abide there. It is a space in which you are a body. To settle is to creep inside of it. Allow it to creep inside of you. Do you see the difference?
And so my lamp is functioning well on top of my dresser, which is also no longer in storage. I’m thinking of buying 15 different knobs from my work to replace the ones already on it. Look at me, becoming the DIY girl.
In some ways I’m back to square one. When I moved here I virtually had no friends to spend time with, and alas, here I am again. But I don’t mind it so much now. In the long run, I think I’d still be lonely even in the wrong company. I try telling my dreams that but they seem to pay me no mind.
All is grace.