Hard and Fast

It became a routine, this pushing and pulling.

I do not serve a God who cannot sympathize with my weaknesses, Hebrews 4:15.

I am weak.

The days go by hard and fast but never ceasing to remind me of how far I’ve come. I am not in Arizona any more. I will not be going back. I have been redeemed from careless, silly situations with boys that I’ve volunteered to be in. I am settling into California. With that being said, I will not settle for anything but that which I am made for.

Recently, I began a job, and then, I quit. Not very like me. I do not quit anything. But then again, I’m not sure what I’m like any more. It just wasn’t for me. At first, going into it, it seemed this God-given answer to prayer. Money, sustenance, purpose, something to actually do. But it totally wasn’t for me. I cannot justify that to anyone. I do not need to. So, back to the drawing board, praying please Lord, bring me into a likeable job. Preferably one that gives me a discount on product, and ok’s facial piercings. Amen, amen.

My God is not ashamed to be my God. If he has called me to be weak, so I am. He is strong. And one thing I know is this–mercy outweighs judgment. I will not be convinced otherwise and yet sadly, others have tried.

The days come hard and fast.

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