You never know when the spirit of blogging will come upon you.
Right now, I’m just warming up for my daily work out….by drinking French roast.
I don’t really know what’s going on right now. God has been telling me over and over that I don’t understand because I do not see what’s going on behind the scenes. I’ve been given Isaiah 55:8 more than a few times this past week, and I know it’s just God gracefully reproofing me for feeling sorry for myself at times, and, to know that his ways really are higher than my ways. I can’t imagine what he’s up to.
If someone were to ask me what I was doing now, what God is doing in my life, preparing me for, I’m afraid I’d say “nothing”. I can’t say that, because that would be a lie. When has God ever been up to nothing, just watching Fringe with a couple bottles of Redd’s at his side?
I don’t know what I can say. God has put me in this place of silence. The voices around me are quiet, and now it is my turn.
There’s a verse in Philippians 2 that says to work out your own salvation with much fear and trembling. I kind of feel like that’s where I am right now. To be honest, being 21 is way better than being 20 for a few reasons I won’t mention, but those of you who know me, can easily figure out. 🙂
I’ve never been more anxiety driven than I am now and yet I know it is not for me to declare my needs to God. It is only for me to be silent, and still (Exodus 14:14, also She’s All That).
I’ve been writing again lately. Not just journaling, but really writing. I haven’t written like it since I was in college. It’s relieving, when this spirit comes upon me from I know not where. It’s kind of cool to see the mass of your brain–all its grey and spongy matter, simply written in one page.